Fishing Redneck
 |
US $66.00
National Redneck Party Convention
It's election year and I don't hear anybody talking about the poor, redneck population. They don't qualify for government aid or healthcare, because they work jobs, (most times), pay taxes (sometimes) and are seldom heard griping about anything except the foreigners or something that has nothing to do with them.
The REAL rednecks aren't worried about their living conditions, but the rest of us should be or they could become a dying breed. There would be a huge redneck voter turnout if you served beer, hosted a line dance and had bingo available for the old farts. Although if there is money to win at bingo you can bet there'll be more bingo players than line dancers any day. You know the ones - they have 3 major teeth missing, 4 dogs they got somehow, 7 fishing poles in the back of their truck, 4 kids they pay child support on that don't even look like them, and were never married to or barely remember the kid's moms. Ok, I have to say it, they live in a trailer OR a homemade bomb shelter they built with scrap lumber.
Everything they own has a hole in it - the couch, the carpet, the roof, the bedroom door, the living room wall, their underwear, their socks, their eardrums, their septum, their front porch, their back porch, their shirts, their jeans and the floorboard on their pickup truck. Talk about being in the hole.
They hardly have anything to eat, who needs it when beer fills most of the 5 food groups. What with starch being a carbohydrate, hops being a vegetable, barley for grains, sugar for the sweet tooth and what protein they get usually come in the form of a 2" square burger found at the local greasy spoon better known as the world famous Krystal...that's Greasetals to you redneck wannabes. Did I say 5...what the heck there are 4 of the main food groups at least! When it's not Krystals, they do a mite bit of fishin' or huntin' that more than makes up for any food groups the beer won't cover, bearin' in mind grease is the 6th unofficial food group....but who's countin? It's not a pretty picture being a redneck. His ole' lady isn't pretty, his mother isn't pretty, even the dogs don't look that good. It's enough to make a feller' wanna' drink.
And they live in a world that's always broke. Something is broke, the TV is broke, the lawnmower is broke, the microwave is broke, the freezer is broke, the easy chair isn't easy-it's broke and of course, when he gets his paycheck after child support deductions, he's broke, too.
But he keeps on thinking positive, positive that something else is going to break, get a hole in it, or not be pretty tomorrow, then if nothing goes wrong, it's a good day.
They get up, decide to go to work are happy the pickup starts, so go fishing instead. It doesn't take much to make a redneck happy. Rednecks are pretty low maintenance, as a breed and they don't have to have a lot of material needs, unless it is their truck or hunting and fishing gear.
When Willie Nelson had FarmAid, he was on the right track, but why didn't he have Redneck Aid? The true rednecks are too proud to ask for help most of the time, they need a fundraiser for them, too, or maybe they need to hold the National Redneck Party Convention, you can get millions in federal money for that, I hear.
About the Author
There is no better place to find both political and non-political rednecks than RedneckandSingle.com an online community of over 18,000 single rednecks seeking romance, friendship, adventure, hunting, camping and fishing partners, and NASCAR buddies. Visit http://www.redneckandsingle.com and find your own redneck.
|
|
Redneck $19.99 Redneck - T-Shirt |
|
|
Nasty Redneck $6.99 Track Listing: 1. 2 Fingers / Condom Machine / Little Black Boy / Little Boy Driving A Truck / Is Your Mama Home , 2. Pouring Beer On His Hand / In Charge Of The Farm / Polish Guy / In L.A. / Mexican Bar-B-Que / Alimony / Part Time Job / 50 Lawyers / Lawyer & Hooker / Bank / Lady From Sydney / 2 Cars Salesmen , 3. Black Man / Poodle & Pit Bull / Man Went To Doctor / Actress, The / Little Cowboy / Sam & His Wife / Premarital Sex / Basketball Player / Man In Hospital / 3 Kinds Of Sex , 4. Girl Went Fishing / 3 Good Reasons / New Definition / A Nudist Wedding / A Vibrator / Wife & Mistrss / Adam Said To Eve / Nurse Said To Doctor / Scuba Diving / Hair In Curlers / Woodpecker / Bumper Sticker, The / Men's Rest Room , 5. Who's On First / Dancing At A Nudist Colony / Don't Give A... / Young Thing / Nightmare / Importance Of Money / Old Maids / Getting Any On The Side / 2 Sharks / Elephant, The / Gay Sex , 6. Blind Man / Baby Boy & Girl / Before I Got Married / Our Wedding Night / Head & Shoulders / One Night / Wedding Night / Had Been Married Before / Still A Virgin , 7. Nightly Poem / Called His Wife / Remind You Ladies / Never Too Old To Learn / At The Truck Stop / A Lady Friend / 2 Male Surfers , 8. His Witness / 2 Patients & A Bird / When You're Forty Like Me / Dumb Things |
|
|
Ghoulie Redneck $10 Ghoulie Redneck |
|
|
Redneck Dracula $5.99 Redneck Dracula |
|
|
Proud To Be A Redneck $5.99 Proud To Be A Redneck |
|
|
Redneck Biker $5.99 Redneck Biker |
|
|
The Rise and Decline of the Redneck Riviera (Hardcover) $48.43 The Rise and Decline of the Redneck Riviera traces the development of the Florida-Alabama coast as a tourist destination from the late 1920s and early 1930s, when it was sparsely populated with ?small fishing villages,? through to the tragic and devastating BP/Deepwater Horizon oil spill of 2010.Harvey H. Jackson III focuses on the stretch of coast from Mobile Bay and Gulf Shores, Alabama, east to Panama City, Florida?an area known as the ?Redneck Riviera.? Jackson explores the rise of this area as a vacation destination for the lower South`s middle- and working-class families following World War II, the building boom of the 1950s and 1960s, and the emergence of the Spring Break ?season.? From the late sixties through 1979, severe hurricanes destroyed many small motels, cafes, bars, and early cottages that gave the small beach towns their essential character. A second building boom ensued in the 1980s dominated by high-rise condominiums and large resort hotels. Jackson traces the tensions surrounding the gentrification of the late 1980s and 1990s and the collapse of the housing market in 2008. While his major focus is on the social, cultural, and economic development, he also documents the environmental and financial impacts of natural disasters and the politics of beach access and dune and sea turtle protection.The Rise and Decline of the Redneck Riviera is the culmination of sixteen years of research drawn from local newspapers, interviews, documentaries, community histories, and several scholarly studies that have addressed parts of this region`s history. From his 1950s-built family vacation cottage in Seagrove Beach, Florida, and on frequent trips to the Alabama coast, Jackson witnessed the changes that have come to the area and has recorded them in a personal, in-depth look at the history and culture of the coast.A Friends Fund Publication. |
|
|
Redneck Girl $6 Redneck Girl - Bellamy Brothers |
|
|
Redneck Roses $6 Redneck Roses - Tracy Byrd |
|
|
Redneck Side $6 Redneck Side - Justin Moore |
|
|
Jeff Foxworthy: You Might Be a Redneck.../Check Your Neck - $12.99 Includes:Jeff Foxworthy: Check Your Neck (1992) Jeff Foxworthy: You Might Be a Redneck... (1997) Jeff Foxworthy: Check Your Neck America's greatest redneckologist, the unsophisticated comedian Jeff Foxworthy, helps you decide whether or not you can call yourself and your neighbors true rednecks in Check Your Neck. In this live performance filmed in Dallas, Foxworthy tackles his favorite subject -- redneck traditions. Foxworthy is the top-selling comedy recording artist in history, having sold nearly six million copies of his routines. ~ Sally Barber, Rovi Jeff Foxworthy: You Might Be a Redneck... You might be a redneck if your child has more teeth than you do. You might be a redneck if your mama has ammo on her Christmas list. You might be a redneck if you use your fishing list as a form of identification. This is only a small sample of the stereotypical wit of comedian Jeff Foxworthy. Foxworthy has created an extensive list of CDs, videos, and books based upon the humorous identification of "the redneck" within American society. This video is just a sampler of some of the material from his nightclub act. ~ Forrest Spencer, Rovi |
|
|
Gene Tracy - Nasty Redneck $17.83 Disc 1:2 Fingers / Condom Machine / Little Black Boy / Little Boy Driving A Truck / Is Your Mama HomePouring Beer On His Hand / In Charge Of The Farm / Polish Guy / In L.A. / Mexican Bar-B-Que / Alimony / Part Time Job / 50 Lawyers / Lawyer & Hooker / Bank / Lady From Sydney / 2 Cars SalesmenBlack Man / Poodle & Pit Bull / Man Went To Doctor / The Actress / Little Cowboy / Sam & His Wife / Premarital Sex / Basketball Player / Man In Hospital / 3 Kinds Of SexGirl Went Fishing / 3 Good Reasons / New Definition / A Nudist Wedding / A Vibrator / Wife & Mistrss / Adam Said To Eve / Nurse Said To Doctor / Scuba Diving / Hair In Curlers / Woodpecker / The Bumper Sticker / Men`s Rest RoomWho`s On First / Dancing At A Nudist Colony / Don`t Give A... / Young Thing / Nightmare / Importance Of Money / Old Maids / Getting Any On The Side / 2 Sharks / The Elephant / Gay SexBlind Man / Baby Boy & Girl / Before I Got Married / Our Wedding Night / Head & Shoulders / One Night / Wedding Night / Had Been Married Before / Still A VirginNightly Poem / Called His Wife / Remind You Ladies / Never Too Old To Learn / At The Truck Stop / A Lady Friend / 2 Male SurfersHis Witness / 2 Patients & A Bird / When You`re Forty Like Me / Dumb Things |
|
|
Redneck Thanksgiving $2.99 Redneck Thanksgiving Vinyl Sticker Redneck Thanksgiving: Roadkill and a Six Pack |
|
|
Redneck Revolution $6 Redneck Revolution - Hot Apple Pie |
|
|
One hundred % Redneck $2.99 One hundred % Redneck Vinyl Sticker 100% Redneck |
|
|
Old Redneck B/W $10 Old Redneck B/W |
|
|
Redneck Girls Forever $7.49 Redneck Girls Forever |
|
|
Redneck Mama'S Day $5.99 Redneck Mama'S Day |
|
|
Redneck 4th Of July $5.99 Redneck 4th Of July |
|
|
Redneck Comedies (DVD) $20.56 REDNECK COMEDIES (DVD) |
|
|
You Might Be a Redneck If ...This Is the Biggest Book You've Ever Read $16.99 ">You Might Be A Redneck if x2026; You use a fishing license as a form of I.D. Your screen door has no screen. You've been on TV more than once describing what the tornado sounded like. You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time. You ever waved at traffic form your front porch wearing just your underwear. >Containing more than 2,000 entries with more than 200 illustrations, You Might Be A Redneck if x2026;This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read will be a must-own book for die-hard fans of Jeff Foxworthy. Creatively packaged and attractively priced, this book also features more than 1,500 entries that have never been published in book form." |
|
|
Fishing $6.99 Fishing |
|
|
Rebel & Redneck Sweatshirts - Super Redneck Hoodie $24.99 Rebel & Redneck Sweatshirts - Super Redneck Hoodie Rebel & Redneck Sweatshirts - Super Redneck Hoodie. Look, over in the field... It's a tractor, it's a pick up truck.... No! It's Super Redneck! |
|
|
Rebel & Redneck Tees - Super Redneck T-Shirt $12.99 Rebel & Redneck Tees - Super Redneck T-Shirt Rebel & Redneck Tees - Super Redneck T-Shirt. Look, over in the field... It's a tractor, it's a pick up truck.... No! It's Super Redneck! |
|
|
Redneck (small) $2.49 Redneck (small) Vinyl Sticker Rebel (w/ Confederate flag - small) |
|
|
Great Moments In Redneck History $10 Great Moments In Redneck History - The Lacs |
|
|
Redneck Side of Me $6 Redneck Side of Me - Flynnville Train |
|
|
Redneck Saturday Night $19.99 Redneck Saturday Night - Premium Poster |